Wanna hear a scary story?

First, a bit of disclosure: I unabashedly love Halloween. I love everything about it - heck, I wish every day was Halloween (but, I admit, that would probably ruin the ambiance). Here's a quick list why: I love horror movies; I love songs about horror movies and scary music in general; I love costumes; I love decorations; I love gross candy shaped like body parts, etc.

It probably all started as a child when I had a dream about Freddy Krueger after a long night of "Nightmare on Elm Street" movies. Only, it wasn't a bad dream - we were friends and had adventures together. I'll leave that one to the psychologists.

That little bit of due diligence out of the way, you should also know that I love haunted houses. Especially really, really well constructed haunted houses - the type that make it seem like you are smack dab in the middle of one of those horror movies I love so much.

So I'm going to be firm about this - Netherworld Haunted House (located off Jimmy Carter Boulevard) is one of those haunted houses. Simply put, its scope is awesome.

It's like someone put every kind of scary movie - ghosts, werewolves, masked psychos, bugs, zombies, even less well known, freak-out, Italian fare like "Suspiria" - into a living experience.

The makeup is top-tier, the effects spectacular. More than just some folks in dark clothing jumping out from behind a door (or suddenly appearing from behind a two-way mirror), it is a full scale assault on your senses.

By that I mean the floors move, graveyards stink, fake bugs fall from the ceiling and sewer pipes drip. The screaming corpses even shoot stuff out of their mouths, people! Luckily, its just water mist - no Gallagher flashbacks here.

To be honest, I almost didn't have time to be scared in the two houses Netherworld offers because I was so fascinated by the set design and monumental effort it must take to run such a big production all night. Others probably won't share my nerdy desires, but its a very visceral experience, trust me.

I'll give a few examples: On the night I went, I ran into a former co-worker and her girlfriend. Unfortunately, the girlfriend has a deep-seeded, irrational fear of cockroaches. Let's just say the former co-worker had to drag her screaming, balled-up-in-the-fetal-position friend trough a few portions of the houses.

I was seriously worried she might pass out.

She joined the few other folks I saw shrieking away from monsters, jumping from pop-out ghouls and dashing through the parking lot - one crying -- when dastardly looking fellow with a very loud chainsaw made a surprise appearance.


Jason's pick: To get in the mood, I recommend listening to the classic Misfits albums "Earth A.D." and "Walk Among Us" on the way. When you're done, if you want to continue the good, scary times, rent Evil Dead 2 and Dead Alive, the two quintessential horror comedies by two of the biggest modern directors, Sam Raimi (Spiderman series) and Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings trilogy).
All that terror soon turned to laughter, however, and will surely birth stories told for years to come.

Haunted houses are a great communal experience, because you go through with your friends and then talk about the atrocities you witnessed all night. Plus, there's the line, where you're sure to meet interesting folks and costumed ne'er-do-wells.

So here's my plea: With all the really scary things happening around us lately, go get safe scared this weekend. Enjoy Halloween however you want, and if that includes Netherworld Haunted House, you will definitely get your money's worth.

What: Netherworld Haunted House
** includes Carnivore and Mangler attractions
Where: 6224 Dawson Boulevard, Norcross
When: 7 p.m. to 11 p.m.
Sunday to Thursday
7 p.m. to midnight Friday and Saturday through Nov. 2
How much: $18 for Carnivore;
$25 for Carnivore and Mangler combo ticket
$50 for speed pass that skips line at both attractions
Contact: 404-608-2484;
www.fearworld.net

- www.northfulton.com

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